How My Personal Struggles Are Helping Me Grow My Business
Have you ever looked at the people around you and thought, They have it all figured out. ?
Social media often consumes more of our time than we like to admit, and it’s easy to start comparing our success to what we “think” others are achieving. We worry that because we aren’t on the same level they are that we’re behind or missing out.
Social media can serve as an incredible tool for networking and connection. It allows us to share snippets of our lives and our businesses and connect with other like-minded business owners who will help us grow. We get to pick and choose who we want to follow, engage with, and share. We set the boundaries for what content we share.
But what often happens is we end up sharing too much of our “high” and not enough of our “lows” (I’m guilty here too!). And the reality is that so many of us are facing challenges in our businesses and in our lives and we all need support. No matter what stage you are at in your business, you will be faced with the constant reality that going after your dream is hard.
But guess what? You’re not alone!
We need to create a unified front and stop acting like we have it all together. We need to stop trying to be picture perfect and start sharing more of the nitty gritty details. This journey isn’t about perfection, it’s about process. It’s about practice. It’s about understanding that you are not the only person struggling - we all are - and the reality is that the more we grow, the more challenges we face. New levels, new devils.
So today, in an effort to be more transparent, I’m going to share with you the things that I struggle with and how I’m working to overcome those struggles.
I struggle balancing and embracing motherhood and my business
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love being a mom, and I’m incredibly passionate about motherhood. But honestly, sometimes business comes more easily to me. I can easily identify more “wins” in business.
I’m in a season of motherhood where taking care of my kids feels like herding cats. I have a four year old, two year old, and one year old, and we work hard to instill values in them. We have amazing family time and are able to spend quality one-on-one time with each kid. We are constantly teaching them, making sure they are fed, safe, entertained, and adjusted as they encounter new things in life, but it’s exhausting! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying motherhood isn’t fulfilling - it is! - but what I am saying is that there are so many things in my business that get me excited and that I have control over that produce results I can see. It makes me feel accomplished.
So many people have different experiences as parents, and I want to clarify by saying that there is nothing in this world that I love more than my children. They are my light when I’m struggling. They are my heart outside of my body. I am so incredibly grateful for the opportunity to be a mom. But being a mom is hard, and I have a natural tendency to gravitate towards the things I can control, like my business.
I struggle with not having my own space
I tried to explain this one to my husband and he had a hard time understanding how I felt. We both work from home, but he works out in the barn. So while he is physically on the property and gets to see the kids all day, he has some separation from them. I, on the other hand, have an office right off the main living space and I can hear my little minions running around constantly. I’m hardwired to hear my kids, so I’m completely distracted by the sounds they make and it makes me want to stop what I’m doing to go play with them.
Or when I’m in the trenches of a project and they come to my office to visit, or ask me to play, I feel like I’m constantly telling them “no,” or “not right now.”
I try to be flexible and move things around when I can, which is the blessing of running my own business, but I also have to find that balance of being able to get things done so I can continue to grow my business.
Our current solution to this problem is to create an office for me down at the barn so that I can have a few dedicated work hours per day. Having an office that’s separate from the kids will help give me that space to complete the work necessary for me to reach success in my business, and will also allow me to plan for more focused time to spend with my kids. I want them to understand the difference between work time and play time. There’s no science behind this, it’s just trial and error as we figure out what works best for us.
I struggle being so far away from family
A year and a half ago, we bought our dream property in Wisconsin, leaving my family on the East Coast behind.
My family is deeply rooted in our Italian and Arab heritage. Everyone lives close to each other, gets together every Sunday, spends the entire summer together, and forms a village. It’s all I’ve ever known. I wasn’t raised by just my mom and dad, I was raised by an entire village of aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents.
Moving to Wisconsin was a culture shock for me.
My husband’s family lives here, which I’m so grateful for, but no one lives in close proximity. Most are an hour away and have kids of their own so they don’t have time to travel to spend time with us.
The truth is: I miss my family. Never in a million years did I think I would miss them as much as I do, but I do.
So I turned to my business and immersed myself in my kids and my husband. I find that I’m struggling to integrate myself into the community here and build real relationships because I spend so much time wishing I was back east with my family. My family has always been my support system. They are my “people.” So it’s hard for me to let other people that aren’t blood into my life to be there for me. It’s just different from how I was raised. It’s change.
But there is a silver lining to this change in my life. I’m learning to turn to my husband for help and support more than I did when I was around my family. We’ve become a tighter, more connected family because I’m taking that need for closeness and applying it to my own little family. I’m stepping outside of my comfort zone and I’m starting to nurture new relationships. There are so many incredible people here in Wisconsin, and I’m learning to truly value them and accept them as my “people.”
I’m also so incredibly grateful for a business that has given me the financial freedom to pack up my husband and kids and visit my family whenever possible.
I struggle saying “No”
I suffer from shiny object syndrome. I’m constantly asking, “What can I do now?”
I mean, I launched a podcast at 38 weeks pregnant.
I realized, however, that saying “yes” to so many things, meant that I was saying “no” to the important things in my life, like my kids, date nights with my husband, or wine nights with my friends. I got to a place in my life where I was so busy, I couldn’t keep track of all of the projects I was working on. I had so many launch ideas, business plans, marketing strategies and challenges that I couldn’t keep track of all of them. I was overwhelmed and as a result, so was my team.
So we decided to scale back on projects and simplify my workload. We decided to be intentional with the projects we took on and made sure they aligned with my mission and my passions.
We also implemented a project management system that included purchasing a management tool and hiring an Operations Director. She is in charge of handling all of the behind-the-scenes action items which allows me to be the visionary. I come up with ideas and she helps me determine which ideas we should move forward with, and how to do that.
Being a visionary is hard. Your “gift” is the ability to come up with new ideas, or to get others excited about their ideas. But the reality is that you can only do so much. So I put people and tools in place to allow me to be a visionary, without overextending myself.
I struggle with Imposter Syndrome
Every time I get a new idea, there’s something in the back of my mind that always says, “Well so-and-so already did this so why should I even bother? What do I have to say that hasn’t already been said?” I find myself wondering why anyone would want to hire me because, while I know I can get them results, someone else might be offering the same thing but has more followers and is already making more money.
So they must be better at it right?
This is when I force myself to look at the facts. I ask myself:
Who have I served already, and what results have they gotten?
What is the transformation that I promise, and how often am I seeing consistent results?
Because the truth is: I’m really good at what I do.
I’ve worked so hard to get to the place that I am right now, and I do have these moments where I feel super confident, but then the doubt creeps back in.
To fight that doubt, I’m actively working to stop comparing myself to other business owners and take their success as a learning opportunity. I remind myself that it’s all about learning and growing and I need to stop worrying about what other people think of me. Because what’s important to me is if I’m stepping into my purpose, living my calling, making an impact and supporting my family.
I know that what I do works. I know that I help get people, and their business, results, so if I keep showing up, I will continue to be successful.
I struggle with feelings of exhaustion
One of the big reasons why we moved to Wisconsin was to live a natural and holistic life. There are certain aspects of this that are really hard.
I take my health very seriously. Recently I’ve been experiencing severe fatigue and exhaustion as a result of a detox. I’m eating clean, exercising, taking supplements, but I’m still struggling. But we are progressing, and I know we are progressing because we have the test results and data to prove progress. So on the days when the exhaustion is overwhelming and I feel like giving up, I remember that I am making progress, and if that means I have to rest and take a break from work, I do.
Meanwhile, my husband is doing the same detox and feels like a million bucks. And while it’s not fair that this is easy for him, we are on different journey’s with different goals. Just like you are with your business.
I’m handling my extreme exhaustion by reminding myself why I’m doing this. I’m looking at the results. I’m reminding myself that I’ve made progress and that I’m moving in the right direction. I’m taking my supplements, drinking nutrient dense shakes. My husband is holding me accountable, I have a naturopath and chiropractor that remind me why it’s important that I do this. Being healthy allows me to be a better wife, mom, friend, business owner, and person.
I struggle providing content that is relevant
This may sound crazy, but I actually struggle with identifying my niche and understanding how and when to create content that my niche wants and needs. I have all of these incredible ideas, but sometimes I launch them and they fail and I’ll have to spend time researching why my audience didn’t like the service I offered.
Every day, I work to better understand my niche and my brand and how they work together. I research the market and what you’re asking for and then I work to create a product that is going to serve you best. As I grow, I’m continuing to “niche down” to find that perfect person that needs what I offer. It’s an ongoing process and it’s constantly challenging.
The results are so worth it.
But you can’t do it alone. You need support. You need to hire a branding coach. You need to brainstorm with a team. You have to find outside sources that can challenge you to think outside the box. And you need to ask your audience for feedback. Use that information to fuel your next product or service.
The first step is to put something out there and realize that it might fail. But if you don’t put it out into the world, you’ll never know what you’re capable of. Stop trying to build your business in a bubble. Put your product or service out there for the world to see and ask them what they think!
The best ways to grow, and what I’m doing to work on this, is have conversations with your audience. Respond to DMs. Chat with clients and find out what they loved and didn’t love. As you continue to learn, you’ll figure out who you want to work with and why, allowing you to grow your business in ways you never thought imaginable.
As much as I hate to admit it, we all struggle. The question is, what are you doing with that struggle to grow personally and professionally? How are you using those struggles to grow your business? Only you can answer that.
And remember, no matter what you’re going through, or how you’re struggling, you are never alone!