Episode #021: Unlocking Your Potential
They say you can speak best to what you struggle with personally...
That’s why I’m a self-proclaimed expert on LIVING UP TO YOUR POTENTIAL! Guys - this has been an ongoing battle for me for years! I get comfortable and then I decide to push outside of that comfort zone to experience change.
Things get easy, and then I make an effort to GROW. Life happens to me or I experience hardship, and then I remember the vision I had for my life.
Leaning into discomfort and doing what’s required to tap into my potential and my purpose are always tough for me. My natural inclination is to stay comfortable, to blame my circumstances, to do it later…
But thankfully, God has put enough of a calling on my heart to keep trying, and failing and trying, and I want to share with you all some perspective on potential and what we can all do to uncork it!
LET ME ASK YOU…
What would you do if you didn’t fear failure? Let that be your guide!
You have the time…you’re just not prioritizing it - which is okay!
But YOU need to own that, otherwise it leads down a rabbit hole of disappointment and delusion that something will magically change or move you closer to your dreams without you doing anything to get there
For the mom who wants to crawl out of her own body and into a hole because she is exhausted, sore, weak, and can’t fit comfortably into anything she owns without beating herself up in the mirror - acknowledge that that is affecting other areas of your life and make a decision - is it worth it to you to prioritize yourself enough to make a change. And that change can come in 20 minutes a day (that’s what I’m doing right now). I think sometimes we make a goal or a vision or tapping into what’s possible this big scary beast - all or nothing. Like using this example, if I want to finally lose the weight or get healthy, I have to neglect my children, quit my job and abandon my husband. No - that’s just the lie we tell ourselves so that we don’t have to start. We’ve gotten so used to and so comfortable in this place of discomfort, we don’t want to rock the boat and have to learn how to settle into a new discomfort. This is our safe zone. But here’s the thing - one of these who discomforts gets us closer to where we ultimately want to be - that place that we dream about. So yes, right now it feels like you don’t have the time, but you do. It’s just being invested elsewhere and you have to decide what it’s worth to you.
I can tell you - I always have these huge, scary dreams taunting me. But I also just had a baby and I’m in a different season right now. I did and do have the time to be taking on new clients, creating new courses, planning an event - but it’s not where I’m choosing to put that time in a season of rest and family. And that’s okay. But it’s not fair to try and fool myself into thinking I’m unable. That’s the lie we perpetuate and it has to stop.
IF YOU’RE LOOKING TO FIND MORE TIME IN YOUR DAY…
It’s time to start toeing the line…
That potential - that purpose - you will not tap into from the comfort of your safety zone. Period.
When you step over the line and that doubt, that fear starts creeping in, this is where growth either happens or it’s halted. Because we feel that and we say - okay, that’s my body telling me this isn’t right for me. But more likely it’s our mind trying to justify the reason we aren’t willing to go for it when it gets hard.
So many people have said it and I don’t know off the top of my head where it originated, but there’s that quote that says something along the lines of…
the new life you want is going to come at the sacrifice of the one you’re living
It’s time to evolve. You CAN’T become who you want to be, who you were DESTINED to be by staying who you are today.
We are constantly weighing risk. Is it worth the money. Is it worth the time. Is it worth the sacrifice.
But we fail to weigh the risk of NOT doing it. So many times THAT risk is FAR GREATER. The cost of not going after your dreams is so high we can’t put a number on it. It’s costing us our purpose, our fulfillment, our lives.
Thinking about leaving your day job?!…I’d love to help!
We talked about it with former NFL athlete and America Ninja Warrior, Anthony Trucks, on Episode #019 the last person I want to meet on my deathbed is the person I was meant to be.
So how do you do this kind of thing?
Well 1st, I’d say it’s not something you just do once. It’s not one choice. It’s all the choices combined. It’s a continual practice.
And you don’t try to go it alone, either. Mentors - even from afar - can serve you along the journey.
Sometimes it starts with - excuse my french - but getting over your shit. Seriously. I wouldn’t even say getting over it - but working THROUGH it.
Let’s say you have this vision, a dream, something on your heart, but you’ve had it ROUGH. You’ve been dealt some brutal cards in your life. Or maybe not brutal, but tough. To you, it makes it’s harder to get to where you want to go. So you look at other people who are doing the thing and you write the narrative “well if only I had parents like hers,” or “if my spouse supported me like that” or “if I hadn’t been through the trauma I’ve gone through I could do that, too” or “well, if I had unlimited funds like that I could do it, too…”
You know what that’s doing for you? Nothing. It’s keeping you stuck. It’s guaranteeing that you’re right - you WILL never do all the amazing things you could be doing because you’re not facing head on the realities of your life, of your childhood.
I’ve heard it a few places now and I recently talked about it with Anthony Trucks… the difference between fault and responsibility.
When crappy things happen to you, it’s not your fault. But it is your responsibility to figure it out from there. And that can feel so daunting and even make people angry - but it’s true.
People are willing to do the hard work without the HEART work.
If your dad destroyed your childhood, that’s a genuinely awful thing and it sucks and you’re right for feeling slighted or abused or angry. But what are you going to do with that reality? THAT is your choice and your responsibility.
If you, God forbid, get cancer. That is NOT fair. It’s also certainly not your fault. But what you do from there is your responsibility.
Life isn’t easy, guys. And it’s relative, too. Your problems don’t need to be compared to someone else’s, because to you losing your job might feel as bad as someone else seemingly going through something far harder.
The point is that you’re doing something to keep moving forward and in the direction you WANT TO GO. Moving forward isn’t enough.
You don’t have to do that part alone, though. It always blows me away when I’m mentoring a client or someone in my mastermind and they are overcoming some big stuff! And I ask them how therapy is going or what their counselor is telling them and they say they haven’t gone.
Guys - there’s NO shame in getting the help you need to work through life.
There’s a lot of pride swallowing in stepping into your potential.
Conferences, books, courses, seminars, retreats - they’re all amazing! But therapy is the personalized tool that truly, uncapped successful people use to continue this life long process.
I’m not usually envious of people because of how much money they have, their following, their influence, or even their impact… I get eyes for the people who are doing great things but have the PEACE and CLARITY. And every time I’ve gotten the chance to ask them how they get THAT- the answer is the same. They are CONSTANTLY working through those struggles.
I also just want to point out in referencing watching other people and being envious - something that’s so easy to do when we’re tuned into everyone’s highlight reels but we’re stuck seeing every single ugly moment of truth in our own lives, this really doesn’t serve us.
So one thing you can do to get out of your own way in this pursuit of scaling up - PUT YOUR BLINDERS ON.
When I’m diligent with this, I’m literally an unstoppable force. Because I’m no longer trying to compare myself, trying to emulate anyone, trying to produce like anyone - it’s just me versus me, baby. I’m in 100% scale up mode. Everything I’m doing is to be better than the me of yesterday, and what anyone else is doing doesn’t matter to me and it doesn’t serve me.
So everything I put out into the world, from content to my vibes is about MY mission, my purpose to serve and add value, and is stemming from who I am becoming.
When I tune out the noise and do that, I’m in a very peaceful, confident place.
So the next time you ask yourself if you can afford to do the thing that will push you into your next level of being - whatever will help you tap into who you are becoming a little bit more - instead ask yourself, “can I afford NOT to do this?” “Can I afford NOT to become this”