Episode #024: Are You Playing Small?

This is just one of those episodes where I have had this feeling weighing heavy on my heart and I feel called to talk about it… I brought it up a few weeks ago and couldn’t BELIEVE the outreach after our unlock your potential episode aired CHECK OUT EPISODE #012: UNLOCKING YOUR POTENTIAL HERE. You guys really want to talk about this - so let’s talk...

Are you playing small?

I’m a little concerned to talk about this because it’s one of those topics that gets me so fired up that I’m afraid if I go there, I’ll either talk too fast, get a little aggressive or not make any sense. But we’re going for it!

They say we can preach best on what we personally struggle with, so get ready… because this is something I’m continually butting my head up against.

This idea of - am I really living up to my potential that we talked about on Episode# 021 really got me thinking about why we choose to play small in life.

Are you REALLY going as hard as you can in the areas of your life that are of value to you? I had this revelation the other day that I have to share with you on this episode…

But here’s the general premise of what we’re covering:

-Are you really creating your greatest impact?

-Are you living the life for YOU, or the one someone else created for you?

-What’s the cost of not going BIGGER?

Time to hold up the mirror - what’s your reality TODAY?

We fall into the zone of mediocrity, even when we’re successful. We get complacent. Here’s how it works…

We have a dream

We find the courage to go for it

We seek out the resources to achieve it

We get it

We get stuck

BUT we are disillusioned into believing we did it, so we should be happy…

Then we feel this aching

We think something must be wrong with us, so we go searching… maybe it’s our job. Maybe it’s our spouse. Maybe it’s just this season of life and it will pass. Maybe we need to read another book on happiness.

OR… maybe it’s the fact that we didn’t come this far just to come this far. Maybe we made it big, and now we’re playing small. Or maybe we never made it big at all because we’ve ALWAYS been playing small, and that’s all we know.

Listen, first off, we talk about this all the time… if you’re afraid of doing more because you don’t know how it will appear to other people, that’s going to suck the life right out of you. That’s the nail in your coffin.

And if you’ve gotten comfortable in that zone of mediocrity - even if you’re making millions, you can still get trapped here - it’s time to disassemble the hammock you’ve been hanging out in and let go of that fear of what it looks like to push beyond where you’re at.

There’s a reason they call it growing pains. It friggin hurts.

But if you’re comfortable, you haven’t figured it out yet. There should always be that little twinge of overstretching in your life. That feeling like you are reaching beyond what’s right within reach.

And if you’re a stay at home mom, for example, I’m not telling you that you’re not enough if you don’t start a business, or if you’re working in a corporate job, I’m not telling you that you are less than until you get that promotion - I’m ASKING you… ARE YOU PLAYING SMALL.

Could you do something more in your world, in your calling, in your career, in your home, to make a greater impact. To leave a legacy. To make a difference.

What if small just meant you could be more generous with your time at your church, or more present with your babies, or more forgiving with your spouse so you can have a breakthrough in your marriage that takes it from pretty good, to off the charts incredible.

I’m asking you if you’re 100% honest with yourself today, did you give it (whatever it is) all you have to give?

This started with that thought when I was looking at my daughter, but it was solidified in a moment that shook me. It wasn’t a near death experience or anything, but for me, it felt like it…

I was driving home by myself the other night. It was snowy, because yup, it friggin snows in WI in April, apparently, and I was taking the back-roads home from Bible study (something very new to me). I hit a patch of ice and my car started to drift. It was probably only a second or two of correcting the path of the car, but the way my mind spun out for the next 15 minutes felt completely out of control…

It wasn’t a big deal. No one was coming in the oncoming traffic lane, there’s wasn’t a giant cliff to fall off of, I was able to redirect the car straight within seconds. But this moment hit me so hard that I had to pull the car over and just wait for this feeling to pass…

I hear stories like what I’m about to tell you and my tendency is to roll my eyes. I’m a cynic by nature, sew me.

First, my palms started to sweat. Then my hands started to shake. Then my chest felt heavy, almost like the start of an anxiety attack.

Let me preface this by saying since I became a mother, I do this kind of thing pretty often - but not quite this intensely and vividly.

It wasn’t something dramatic like seeing my life flash before my eyes, but I started to freak out feeling the gravity of the truth that I’m just leasing this life…

At some point, I’m going to go. And if that point where to come sooner than when I hope it does, did I complete my mission. That was a next-level thought for me.

Because I feel like I’m constantly in a state of growth. I’m a research junkie, always trying to learn something new. I’m obsessed with optimizing my health, and growing businesses, and making an impact - but in that moment, it hit me that I was playing small. SO small. If I was faced with mortality, I wouldn’t be the least bit satisfied.

I have those moments every so often where I feel like God is getting in my face and shaking me up a bit and Coaching me - no sister, you’ve gotta do more. You’re called to more.

And that time in the car I just sat trying to figure out what it was I wasn’t doing right or enough of and then it hit me - all of it.

I have another gear.

YOU HAVE ANOTHER GEAR.

In everything we do, we can ask ourselves if we’ve shifted into our next gear.

Why are you playing small?

Fear of what others think.

To not rock someone else’s boat.

I don’t care, I’m doing ME.

The last person I want to meet on my deathbed is the person I was meant to be.

You can roll your eyes and say it’s dramatic, or you can live up to what you’re being called to so you can max out this life. Because we only have one of them.