Episode #023: Emotional Intelligence: The Missing Link to Your Success with Monica Epperson
If you’re anything like me and don’t fully understand what emotional intelligence is and how it’s affecting you in ALL you do or don’t do, this is your episode. We talked on episode #021 about unlocking your potential - THIS is one of the keys to that. In business, wealth, family, marriage, happiness, health - ALL of it and I brought to you the BEST person to speak on this subject- MY personal life coach!
PurposeCast aspires to help students and young adults realize the Truth that they have been uniquely created with gifts and talents; capable of greatly impacting their world in a way that no one else will be able to do in quite the same way.
With over three decades pursuing the truths in her own story, Monica's walk with God, education, and life experiences have given her a skill set for connecting people to their own stories and I had to bring her on Scaling Up so she can help all of you connect to YOUR STORY!
Monica is an adjunct professor and course developer for Newman University in Wichita, Kansas, as well as a trained counselor and certified life coach. She also coaches for True Stories Ministries, a ministry dedicated to restoring lives and redeeming stories, and PurposeCast, a niche firm addressing the pursuit of purpose through emotional intelligence training.
Monica is the former Founder and CEO of The Child of Divorce, a nonprofit dedicated to giving children of divorce a voice. Her first book A Heart with Two Homes was published in 2008, while her sequel book Bounce debuted in 2011.
Monica earned her Bachelor of Science in Education from Northeastern State University in Tahlequah, Okla., and her Master of Arts in Counseling from Liberty University in Lynchburg, Va. And is currently working on her doctorate at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Kansas City, Kan. She is also a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors.
IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL HEAR ALL ABOUT…
-What is emotional intelligence
-Is it something you’re born with or are you stuck with what you’ve got?
-Why is this such an important thing to talk about?
-Does emotional intelligence tie into things like motivations?
-What’s the correlation between emotional intelligence and success?
-How does it apply in business, relationships and overall happiness & fulfillment?
What is emotional Intelligence?
The easiest and best way to understand emotional intelligence is to look at it as four different quadrants. So you have self and once you've gained that self awareness then you can manage yourself. So self awareness kind of leads into that self management. Then you go from that to a social awareness because then once you can really understand and be aware of what's happening socially and with others, then you can go into relationship management where you can actually manage your relationship. So that is kind of the umbrella overall term.
Joan Rosenberg really helped people to understand that we all deal with unpleasant feelings and it's how we manage that 60 to 90 seconds of the wave of an unpleasant feeling. It's how we manage that. That's really controlling the moment to moment happiness and contentment and ability to manage our lives. So that's, that's definitely my, my little niche area.
Is emotional intelligence something you’re born with or are you stuck with what you’ve got?
Emotional intelligence isn't fixed. This isn't something you're necessarily born with. It's something that we can continually grow in.
A story example of emotional intelligence (and how it will serve your business to be emotionally intelligent and aware)
Marian grew up in a home that there was not a lot of money, very poverty stricken. The books that she read, she would walk to the library three miles to get to the books. They were all books about pulling yourself up off of your, with your bootstraps and all about how you are the creator of your destiny, right? So she is so immersed in this and she gone out and she's paid her way through college and she now has means to have this great apartment in an urban environment.
Well, she's walking the streets and there's this person begging for, do you have a dollar you could give me? I'm homeless. You know, this isn't, this is where I am. It infuriates her. She gets so mad because from her lens, from her perspective, this person had the same exact opportunity that she's had and they did not maximize their life. So she's frustrated.
Then you've got Liz over here who grew up in a home that the kind of books that she was reading were a lot of faith filled books. She was learning about how mankind that we are, we're all connected in some way. There is a beauty to helping others. There's a beauty to what you've been given sharing. So her perspective is totally different. She was able to go to college on a scholarship. So she didn't have any debt from college. She felt very, a lot of gratitude for that.
She gets us great job in downtown and she's out on the street and this person comes up and ask for a dollar. It's she feel sadness, she feels compassion. She looks at this person and is like, where does society do you wrong? Where was the church or people coming in to lift you up and to build you up. And of course I'll give you a dollar.
So see the reaction from each person is so completely different. Both emotion filled reactions from personal life experiences and their story. It's important that we know each type of reaction. If you're building a business and you've got a client base of all of these different type of stories, then you have also a bunch of different drivers and a bunch of different emotions, right? So having a mountain top view gives you an advantage to be able to see a person and to be able to know a little bit about more about their story allows you the privilege of knowing a little bit more of how to meet their needs and what those needs might be.