Ep# 184: [Pep Talk] Let's Talk About the Drama Going On...
I’ve gone back and forth on whether I want to participate in this conversation in any capacity, but I’ve had enough people reaching out asking about my thoughts that I decided today’s the day.
I have a very strong opinion on the Rachel Hollis drama, and apparently it’s an unpopular opinion. I’ve been reading and listening to other people’s opinions, and it’s just so not mine.
My first reaction when I saw the infamous video was to disregard it, honestly. I have zero interest in getting roped into this nonsense. Let me tell you why.
I’m not so much commenting on my thoughts on her words as I am my thoughts on the reaction to her video.
20 years ago, pre social media, when someone was a jerk or being a moron or saying things I vehemently disagree with, I’d disregard them. We all would. They became LESS significant, not more.
But we live in a culture today that makes us feel like we really “know” people because of social media when we really don’t. I don’t believe in this public flogging culture and I hesitate greatly to get involved with it for a few reasons. Cancel culture is unproductive and has gotten out of control. We leave no room for personal accountability, restoration, forgiveness or change.
Cancel culture directly conflicts with our core values. We believe in the golden rule. We believe in love and compassion. We eat, sleep and breathe leadership. And what’s happening right now is NOT leadership. Which brings me great joy, because it means the world needs more of it and conveniently, we’re launching a company to combat the lack of it!
Secondly, because I don’t know Rachel Hollis, and I don’t particularly like her content anyway, it feels like everyone is jumping on the bandwagon to comment and be seen with their thoughts as though every single opinion matters.
This isn’t to dismiss what she said or to justify it or to defend it. I think it was a jerk statement for a whole host of reasons. I think she, too, greatly lacks leadership. The way she blamed her team, didn’t see the problem with what she said on multiple levels and passively defended herself trying to disguise it as an apology were just a few of the problems I saw with what she said.
But, there are about a bajillion people out there saying things I couldn’t disagree with more. They are the LAST people that deserve my attention. Not the first.
John 8:7 says, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”
I don’t know about you, but I’m not without sin. So I won’t participate in her public stoning or anyone else’s.
What I DO think can happen are conversations that are productive in our team, our communities and in the world that honor our core values and condemn the behavior we don’t agree with WITHOUT condemning the person. Personal condemnation is not in my job description, I leave that up to the Big Man.
What I will also say is this: please don’t mistake any Big Name public response of condemnation as leadership. This has to be crystal clear as we go into the launch of a leadership company. Leadership is having the necessary and tough conversation privately with your friend. Leadership is NEVER public correction or condemnation, in life or in business.
Imagine if you had said something that you were getting flack for and your best friend - who should be there to walk with you through this tough time, even if it means telling you privately how you were wrong - instead publicly announced your wrongdoing and their thoughts on it.
THAT is not leadership, that is virtue signaling. It’s saying what you think the world wants to hear so the angry mob doesn’t come for you next because you’re guilty by association.
Leadership involves discernment, respect and loyalty. Not throwing anyone else under the bus for your own sake.
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