The calling…

You know that feeling when you’re spinning out of control - trying to plan every last thing - and then God picks you up by the collar, plucking you from your own mess and drops you right where you’re supposed to be?

That recently happened to us in the most epic way…

A few years back my husband Michael and I made the biggest decision we had yet to make. Our once-little side gig had taken off to heights we only used to dream about and it opened up some new doors for us. The first being me leaving my corporate job a few years prior, and soon after we were faced with a new, weird reality we hadn’t fully anticipated… Michael being able to leave his corporate actuarial position that he had worked really hard for. We never anticipated not “needing” his job to support us.

We set a date on the calendar (Sweet Freedom Day) and both the hubs and I were officially “retired” before the age of thirty. Well, that escalated quickly!

With that major change and blessing, we had this wide-open world in front of us. Our totally mobile business would allow us to “be” anywhere, whether it was traveling the world or putting down roots. We didn’t build a business around where we are but around WHO we are, and it was time to put that reality to good use!

The birth of our second baby spurred some deep desires to really dig our heels in and figure out where our little growing family was meant to be planted.

We jumped right into research. What towns have the best schools? What areas have the vibe we’re looking for? What are the churches like? How about the people? Where can we find that dream house we’ve been talking about? Proximity of highly rated ice cream shops (obvi)?

But we had one major dilemma…

The choice…

WHERE would we go? My enormous and tight knit family is firmly rooted in the Northeast within twenty minutes of each other and Michael’s family mirrors that sentiment out in the Midwest. There was NO possible way we could choose. It turns out that having unlimited options can be an unexpected challenge!

This “choice” became the center of our world. It pulled at us. It put a strain on our marriage. I was losing sleep and Michael was ready to throw in the towel over ever getting back out to Wisconsin. No matter how much research, looking or talking we did we always seemed to land back in the same place: we don’t know how to choose.

The surrender…

So one day on an afternoon drive to look at another set of houses in New Hampshire I posed an idea that just popped into my head. “What if we just give this over to God?”

We have a strong faith, bring our two screaming toddlers to church every Sunday and lean on prayer, but for some reason we hadn’t surrendered the parts of this whole process that were plaguing us.

“What do you mean?” He asked me.

“What if we kept doing our part – looking up homes, seeing what we like, doing our research – but if we took the stress out of it knowing that we are being guided. What if we just had faith knowing that when we find the right place, right town or even the right state, we would just KNOW?”

My husband is so cute... you should have seen the look on his face when I tossed him this brilliant plan. He has such an analytical mind and despite having a faith that could move mountains, this whole “let’s wing it” suggestion left him looking at me a little sideways. But like he so often does, he placated my lofty idea and we rolled with it.

What happened next still gives me the goosies!

We had done a fair amount of searching in my home state of New Hampshire, but we had a trip planned out to Wisconsin for Christmas and New Years with my in-laws so we booked a bunch of showings all for one day out there.

The vision…

By that point we still hadn’t put out finger on exactly what we wanted in a home, but something in our heart was pulling us to the idea of a farmhouse and property. When I was pregnant with our daughter, we had taken a five-week vacation to California with our son Jack, driving over 3,000 miles in those few weeks.

One stop on the journey (which was, by far, our favorite) was a stay on this gorgeous hundred-plus acre farm in Petaluma, California. The owner was a former exec for a major cosmetic company and decided to pull a sharp U-turn in life, let go of the corporate rat-race and become a full-time rancher. In the most chic way possible, she renovated one of the barns on the property and rents it out to visitors, and within minutes of arriving we fell in love with the charm of farm life.

We had gone with realtors to beautiful homes in subdivisions, lake front dream homes, houses in the mountains and everything in between, but for some reason we just kept talking about the idea of raising our kids on a farm.

We desperately wanted life to slow down! I wanted to know where our food was coming from, I wanted animals that would give us sustenance and teach our kids responsibility, and when they drive me up a wall and I scream “GO OUTSIDE,” I wanted a home where they could have the land to do just that!

“Are we freaking nuts?”

I kept asking my husband that same question over and over. I mean, we were both from rural states and never liked the city much, but a FARM? I’ve legit killed every plant I’ve ever tried to keep alive and the only animals I’ve ever had were dogs and a goldfish named Winston, that I promptly killed within days of his taking up residence in my bedroom.

Where was this coming from? We had even gone as far as to write out in great detail what we would want in a farmhouse from the size to the look to the function to the land to the barn.

The house…

The realtor in Wisconsin had sent us a bunch of homes to look at and we put together a list of six places we wanted to see. In the final hours before heading out for a day of visiting listings, he sent along one more listing. For some reason it didn’t really catch our eye. I had just pulled up the reply email to let him know that we didn’t want to add that one to our list when my husband walked by and saw the picture of it up on the monitor peeking out from behind my email.

“Hmm. That one looks kinda neat… let’s go see it.”

He said it in passing like his thought just kind of made its way out of his mouth and it was just enough for me to not send the email. We added it to the list as number seven. It was going to be a long day!

We went and saw six houses. The very first one we saw took our breath away and we thought it might be our front-runner. It checked all of the boxes as far as beautiful craftsmanship, a few acres of land and a nice cul-de-sac neighborhood. Maybe this was it – that feeling I told Michael that we would get when we “just knew.”

The sun had set on our ride from house number six to that seventh house we added on last minute and by the time we arrived it was completely dark. We drove in on a dirt road wondering why we even bothered after such a long day to come see this house seemingly in the middle of nowhere.

And then we opened the front door…

The feeling…

In that moment I knew what I had been babbling to my husband about just “knowing,” although I wasn’t sure how to accept that feeling at the time. The more we walked through the house, the more peace I felt wash over me. The more rooms we explored, the more I saw our babies playing in (and destroying) them.

This seventh sneak-attack property sat on eleven acres of land overlooking rolling hills and expansive views. There was an enormous horse barn and a gigantic workshop. There were four pastures separated by those enchanting wood fences that you see in the country. There were vegetable gardens, a huge wrap-around porch, beautiful flowers and organic corn sprouting up from the ground.

It was the exact farmhouse we had written about and dreamed up over the last two years, to the point where it almost freaked us out how spot on it was!

But we couldn’t see ANY of it! It was pitch black outside. It didn’t take much to fall madly in love with the interior of the house as the owners had customized every last detail to near perfection (shiplap, guys… shiplap!), but there was still so much to see.

We flew home the next day not knowing where we stood. We were still trying to logic and reason our way through everything, not fully surrendering to the process. I was trying to imagine how on earth I would ever raise my babies away from my family and how I could ever let go of my dream of having my kids raised up in the same life-giving village I was born into.

The next few weeks were zapped with a current of electricity we hadn’t felt before! We were making pro cons lists, pulling up the listing of this property multiple times a day to see the pictures of it and the best part of it all… we found ourselves DREAMING again. This property made our minds wander to all of the possibilities.

But even with all of the highs of finding what appeared to be our dream property, we couldn’t decide. We were leaning again completely on our own understanding trying to reason our way through it.

How would we actually KNOW if we KNEW?! Ya know?!

The sign…

So that night after running through the lists and pictures I put away my phone and crawled over to the side of our bed on my knees and started to pray.

It was a short conversation and I asked God for one simple thing: a sign.

“God, we can’t figure this one out on our own. I can’t CHOOSE to leave my whole family for a property. But if you have a greater plan for us in that home, can you just give us a sign?”

I went to bed feeling a calm I hadn’t felt over the restless few weeks prior.

With the sun poking through our bedroom window the next morning I rolled over and grabbed my phone to see what time it was and almost instinctually pulling up the real estate app to see the property pictures again. Here we go again – falling right back into the trap of trying to figure it out on my own and not even giving God a chance to swoop in…

And then right there in front of my face was the sign.

I called Michael into the room and told him to look.

“Michael, look at this… the price dropped overnight!”

This property that had been on the market at the same price for months suddenly dropped in price only hours I after I had prayed for some clarity and direction.

We booked a flight later that week to go back out and continue to feel our way through this uncharted territory. We knew we needed to see all of the property that was hidden by the darkness of night.

A week later we were in Wisconsin pulling back down that dirt road to find that even more of our dream home visions were coming to life. We used to talk about wanting a farm, a lot of a land and privacy but we also wanted neighbors. In case you’re wondering, that’s a tall order. Either you have neighbors or you’re remote, not typically both.

But as we drove down the road we saw mailboxes all along the road and came to find that this was a gorgeous neighborhood with other properties and farms nearby, but still with the privacy and land we dreamed about.

Michael had talked with the owner prior to us flying out and he offered to be around when we came back to show us all of the work he had done to bring the property to life over the years and to tell us more about the area. We knocked on the door and were greeted by two of the best parts of the house – John and Tina, the owners!

Tina gave me the warmest hug and welcome and we immediately clicked with them (another sign that we were in the right place). We pulled up a seat along the big windows facing out to the gorgeous view and talked about what it’s been like for her to raise her boys there and shared the secret charms of the property. All at once I felt both the hospitality of Tina and the warmth of the property drawing me in close.

Michael and I left that day with a fire lit and a call to action…

The offer…

We called our realtor from the car ride back to the airport.

“We’d like to make an offer.”

In our time at the house we had gotten word that there was action on the house and it gave us that pit in our stomachs knowing that we couldn’t lose this property.

I didn’t expect the emotions that would hit over the next 48 hours. Michael was driving me to the airport so I could get home to our babies and he was staying at his brother’s for a few extra days to help him do some work on their new home. We would be making an offer and then receiving the news apart.

We decided to wait until the next morning to place the offer and I found myself in the same position I was in just a week prior – on my knees praying for guidance.

I went to bed and had one of the most vivid dreams I’ve ever had. It was short, but it told me everything I needed to know in a moment of complete uncertainty.

In the dream we were pulling down that same dirt road to the farmhouse with the kids and as we pulled into the driveway there was a big, rustic metal sign arched over two massive timbers creating almost a little bridge to drive under to get onto the property.

The farm…

It read, “BOOTSTRAP FARM.”

I woke up knowing that we were being called to this farm, this home, this little town for a reason that maybe we weren’t meant to know, yet.

I called Michael and told him my dream and he just quietly said,

“I love it, that’s perfect.”

“Bootstrap” represents so much of how we have lived our lives since the day we met, lifting ourselves up from our own bootstraps to follow our purpose and our dreams!

The phone rang and it was my husband. The realtor was on the other line with the news and Michael asked him to hold on while he conferenced me in so we could receive the news, good or bad, together.

“Congratulations, Hartke’s! You just bought a farm.”

Holy emotions.

All in the same instant I was crying tears of joy and tears of mourning over the loss of proximity to the people I love.

So, my friends, we are on to our next chapter with no doubt that we are being called to this property, this new way of living and this next adventure.

To watch me try to grow stuff, till things and hopefully not kill stuff all while continuing to nurture our children, marriage, business, clients, and our dreams...